If I’m being completely honest, I haven’t spent any time with my yoga mat in many months. I’ve been dealing with some health issues that have made me feel like I’m stuck in a stranger’s body. I’m uncomfortable, self-conscious, clumsier than usual (if you can believe that’s possible!), and having breathing issues and dizzy spells. I can’t move the way I used to. I started putting limitations on myself as I “wait to get back to normal”. I’ve been in denial about it all… especially my fear that this is my new normal. But I’m tired of being held back. Especially by myself. I’m tired of missing out on things that I enjoy because I can’t do them as well as I used to.
Today I made peace with myself and my mat. I showed up at yoga class ready and willing. I didn’t beat myself up for modifying poses and didn’t compare myself to others. Luckily, my mat is that kind of friend that you can go a long stretch of time without seeing but when you do it’s like no time has passed. We fell into a familiar flow and had a lot of fun. We promised each other we wouldn’t let so much time pass before seeing each other again. If my yoga mat can accept me unconditionally then maybe I can too. I’m working on it.